(P.Mark)
From the album Go Big or Go Home

At the restaurant I order black-eyed peas
The waiter serves up a plate of pork and beans
Down at the laundry I drop off my fine silk suit
Give it to them red and it comes back blue

I’ve seen enough
Good help is so hard to find
Next time, I just as soon do it myself

At the car wash when I pick up my wheels
I find a brand new dent and the paint’s all peeled
I told the barber to clip my wig just so
Now I’ve got to wear a hat where ever I go

I’m staying home
Can’t trust nobody these days
Next time, I just as soon do it myself

I ask my baby real nice to go out to the store
“Be happy to darling,” and she flew out the door
Three hours later with her arm’s loaded up
She says, “l got me a few things but I couldn’t find your stuff”

I seen it coming
She’s got a lot of nerve
Next time, l just as soon do it myself

My accountant took a fortune to balance my books
I should have known it’d be the year the tax man would look
That lawyer said he’d get me off for a fee
Now I’m pacing in the pokey doing one to three

I’ve seen enough
They just take your money and run
You want it done right?
You got to go and do it yourself